We’ve all experienced those moments when our child pushes us to the edge, and despite our best efforts, we lose our patience. It’s a universal challenge for parents. However, when it comes to autistic children, the dynamics of these moments can be different. Understanding how to handle these situations is crucial. Navigating the intricate web of emotions that an autistic child experiences when a parent loses their cool can be daunting. It’s essential for parents to approach this with sensitivity and understanding. Here are eleven strategies to consider when you find yourself losing patience with your autistic child:
Losing patience with any child, including an autistic one, is a common experience for parents and caregivers. Here are ten strategies to help you regain composure and support the child effectively:
I feel so bad when I lose patience with my son it’s just so hard. I’m a single mum to a non verbal 7 year old. I’m doing he best I can sometimes it just gets too overwhelming.
1. Take a Break and Regroup
When you feel your patience waning and emotions run high, it’s essential and beneficial to step away briefly to collect yourself. Use this time to breathe deeply, centre yourself, and give yourself a moment to calm down, gather emotional strength, and regain composure before addressing the situation again. This break can prevent escalating frustration and help you approach the child and address the situation with a clear mind, calmly and effectively
2. Embrace Self-Compassion
Understand that parenting an autistic child comes with unique challenges, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed at times and to acknowledge your own struggles. Practice self-compassion by recognizing your efforts and limits and allowing yourself grace during difficult limits.
3. Practice and Prioritise Self-Care
Ensure you’re taking care of your own well-being by engaging in activities that rejuvenate you. Get enough sleep, eat healthily, exercise, and engage in activities that help you relax and recharge. Whether it’s practicing mindfulness, enjoying a hobby, or seeking support from loved ones, nurturing your own mental and physical health is essential for maintaining patience and resilience. Taking care of yourself makes it easier to handle challenging situations calmly.
4. Educate Yourself Continously
Commit to ongoing learning about autism spectrum conditions (ASC) to deepen your understanding of your child’s experiences and needs, their characteristics, triggers, and coping mechanisms. Understanding the child’s unique needs and behaviors can increase your empathy and patience. The more informed you are, the better equipped you’ll be to provide effective support and respond with patience and empathy.
I feel like such a terrible mum. How do you not lose your patience some days?
5. Clear and Communicate Clearly
Use clear, concise and straightforward language and communication tailored to your child’s communication style. Avoid using ambiguous or abstract language that may confuse them. By providing clear instructions and expectations, you can minimize confusion and frustration, fostering smoother interactions.
6. Establish Consistent Routine
Create a structured environment with predictable and consistent routines to provide structure, stability and security, which is often comforting for autistic children. Stick to regular schedules for meals, bedtime, and activities as much as possible to reduce anxiety and uncertainty. Consistency in daily schedules and activities can help reduce anxiety and meltdowns, contributing to a more harmonious home environment.
7. Use Visual Aids
Visual aids, such as picture schedules, visual timers, or social stories, can help the child understand expectations and transitions better by enhancing understanding and communication. Visual supports offer valuable guidance and reinforcement, promoting independence and reducing frustration.
8. Empower Through Choices
Provide your child with opportunities to make choices within manageable limits, fostering a sense of control, autonomy and empowerment. By involving them in decision-making, you can minimise resistance and meltdowns and promote cooperation, leading to more positive interactions.
9. Practice Patience-Building Techniques
Incorporate mindfulness practices, deep breathing exercises, or other relaxation or meditation techniques into your daily routine to cultivate patience and emotional resilience. These practices and techniques can help you manage stress and frustration and respond calmly and more effectively when faced with challenging situations.
10. Seek Support Networks
Reach out to support groups, therapists, or other professionals who specialise in autism to access guidance, resources, and encouragement. Connecting with others who understand your challenges and experiences and building a support network can provide invaluable support during challenging times, validation, and advice.
11. Reflect, Learn, Adapt
After a challenging interaction, take time to reflect on what happened and how you responded. Identify what triggered your impatience and consider alternative strategies for handling similar situations in the future. Embrace a mindset of continuous learning and growth, adapting your strategies to better meet your child’s evolving needs and strengthen your relationship over time.
Remember, it’s natural to feel frustrated at times, but by implementing these strategies and approaching moments of frustration with empathy and understanding, and seeking support when needed, you can navigate challenging moments with greater patience and understanding, you can strengthen your relationship with your autistic child and navigate challenging situations more effectively.
