As part of I AM’s mission to celebrate autism with the broader world, we’re happy to present the latest in a series of our ’10 questions with…’ series, featuring Jersey-based abstract expressionist painter and autism advocate Emilie Knight.
1. Can you tell us about your artistic journey and how you discovered your passion for art?
I had an interest in art from a young age which was encouraged by my parents who are both creative people in their own ways. My Mum and I went to see the Frida Kahlo exhibition at Tate Modern in 2005 when I was 16 which always sticks out as a catalyst to making art a priority in my future. I studied a foundation year in Art and Design at Plymouth College of Art before a brief foray into Art History at Sussex University in Brighton made me realise that I needed to be practicing, not just studying Fine Art. I started a Fine Art degree at the University of Plymouth in 200, graduating in 2012.
A retreat into my inner world where I understand myself and can comfortably unmask.
2. How has being autistic influenced your approach to creating art and the themes you explore?
I’m only just starting to fully explore and understand the influence being autistic has on my concepts and practice having only received a diagnosis in January 2024. Intrinsically, as an abstract expressionist painter, it is fundamental to my process and it has been fascinating to explore, both through my current work and retrospectively.
The most obvious influence (to me, now) is my mark making which I now recognise as stimming. All my work is created using my hands, fingers and feet meaning that the marks I make are directly connected to my subconscious mind and therefore my autism. If you compare the mark making in my paintings 12 years ago, it is still very similar to the marks I make today, despite a recent 3-year hiatus.
3. Are there particular sensory experiences or aspects of the world that inspire your work?
The general overwhelm! Painting is like a meditation to me; a retreat into my inner world where I understand myself and can comfortably unmask. It’s not usually a quiet meditation; music is a huge influence on my daily life and practice, bridging the gap between the outside world and my internal experience and need to escape.
4. How do you navigate challenges or barriers in the art world, and have you found any strategies that work well for you?
Through the process of rediscovering myself in light of my diagnosis and creating strategies I’ve started to recognise strategies (and habits) I’ve always had in place to mitigate the outside world’s effects. I’ve struggled with burn-out over the last 2 years which bought me to this diagnosis and forced me to take a step back and rest. Finally having the space and time to reflect has enabled some self-actualisation but I still struggle to implement it whether it’s brushing my teeth or relying too much on wine to numb the overwhelm.
I’ve always struggled with self-belief and still question my ability, adequacy and belonging in this world despite a recent solo show at JARO Gallery in St Helier which was really well received. I don’t have much confidence and struggle to ascertain ‘genuineness’ and nuance which can leave me vulnerable at times. Connecting with people that I can trust has made a difference and I tend to research intensely and prepare for all eventualities which alleviates some of the anxiety.
I sometimes experience executive dysfunction when I’m stressed, tired or put on the spot which manifests in stumbling over my words, forgetting what I am trying to say or not being able to speak at all – having a diagnosis enables me to explain that I’m autistic and just need a few minutes. If I feel safe, I find humour helps.
5. Can you share a specific piece of art that holds special significance for you and explain the story or inspiration behind it?
‘Phantasma’ was one of the first 3 paintings completed for my ‘Bloom’ series for which I was offered a solo show for. She was created (along with the rest of ‘Bloom’) while I recovered from burnout and represents a pivotal moment on my ‘I can do this’ journey. She’s also one of my favourites aesthetically and emotionally because she was tricky to finish which makes them feel even better when you realise they are. She really embodies the concept of masking and other autistic traits because there’s so much going on in both the background and the foreground. It’s overwhelming, chaotic and quite dark but it’s also beautiful.
I felt strongly about using myself and my practice as a platform to raise awareness and start breaking down pre-conceptions.
6. How do you handle moments when you might feel overwhelmed or experience sensory overload while working on your art?
Since the burnout, I find that I go from 0-100 when I feel stressed, there’s no in-between. Even seemingly small tasks like responding to emails can feel completely overwhelming so I try to break things down and make a lot of lists. I don’t tend to feel overwhelmed when I’m painting unless I’m working to a deadline or on commission, so the solo show was super challenging at times however I noticed that it hits different when you’re doing something you love. I find in those moments that I need to be able to completely immerse myself in my work with as few distractions and expectations as possible. I am very lucky to have a very patient husband who is fully invested and supportive (and also has his own intensive hobbies!) I tend to work at 100 MPH then require a lot of rest so I really struggle with feeling lazy and not accomplishing anything during those times.
7. In what ways do you think your perspective as an autistic individual contributes to the diversity of voices in the art community?
I would like to see more representation of autistic voices in the art community however it comes with its personal challenges. When I decided to ‘come out’ I was really concerned that people might think I was ‘using’ my autism to sell paintings however from the moment I was informally diagnosed last November, I felt strongly about using myself and my practice as a platform to raise awareness and start breaking down pre-conceptions. I like to think that it contributes some honestly, and encouragement to explore how you relate to the world.
I would like to see more focus on the importance of creativity in our everyday lives, especially in schools. I believe everyone is creative in one way or another be it painting, gardening, cooking or engineering and that those skills are inherent to our daily lives and existence in the world.
8. How do you communicate your artistic vision to others, and do you find certain methods or tools particularly helpful in expressing your ideas?
I’ve always found it very difficult to discuss and explain my concepts and vision. I can never find a way of eloquently saying ‘it just happens’ or the confidence to challenge those that ask. My Fine Art degree was a real challenge, all I wanted to do was paint and I couldn’t explain why I’d chosen that shape canvas or colour blue when the real reason at the time was that it was all I could afford, beg or borrow.
I think social media for most provides a great tool for expressing your artistic vision due to enabling you the opportunity to curate your presence so easily using filters, words and music etc. I’m terrified about what other people think about me though (I’m working on it) so it can take me a really long time to create a story let alone a post or a reel that is less transient. It feels like social media is the only way to gain traction nowadays but between the algorithms and the consistency required, it can be exhausting.
I also feel very exposed when posting sometimes due to the content I am posting. A lot of my friends kindly follow me so it can be nerve-wracking to put myself out there however I have only received a lot of love and support from them when I do.
There are some new platforms launching like Cara which is creatives specific and an amalgamation of Instagram, X and LinkedIn tools which I think could be a really valuable space.
I challenge them by being open, honest and consistent.
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9. Have you encountered any misconceptions about autism in the art world, and how do you address or challenge these misconceptions?
I face misconceptions about autism often and do my best to educate and explain rather than argue. I haven’t faced any misconceptions in the art world specifically however as with everything else, there are processes ingrained in our world that are difficult for some autistic people to navigate. As I mentioned above, rules and expectations are hard to decipher, and I also tend to take things literally. It’s daunting when you’re starting out and competition is fierce. You must remember that it is subjective. Not everyone is going to like your work, or even you, and some people will always think that you’re using your autism to sell paintings. I challenge them by being open, honest and consistent.
10. What advice would you give to other autistic individuals who are interested in pursuing a career in the arts?
It can be really overwhelming and quite daunting. One thing I struggle with is rules and expectations. I would recommend building relationships with people that you can trust both online and offline whether it’s galleries, art centres, workshop leaders or online communities. I’ve also found it helpful to interact with like minded people (both autistic and artistic) and not limit myself to painters. I’ve got friends who are ceramicists, print makers, musicians and photographers. The wider variety of skills, interests and knowledge you surround yourself with, the wider your perspective of the world and ability to be inspired is.
Important to note here that although I love people and making friends, I also find it absolutely exhausting and have to take time out often. You may find it more accessible to make connections online or join like minded communities on Reddit for example, where you can sit back anonymously whilst accessing a lot of advice and information.
My last piece of advice is to manage your expectations. I still work part-time and for most of the last 8 years have worked full-time and fit painting in when and where I can. Juggling the two can be intense and at times frustrating but try to create because you love to create. If you don’t have the energy, time or space to paint, try journaling. It’s all relevant. If you are feeling stuck, the inspiration will come. Try and work with yourself and invest in yourself both as a person and an Artist.
If you would like to see more of Emilie’s work, you can check it out now on her Website , Instagram , Facebook , Pinterest , and Linkedin .
If you or someone you know is interested in taking part in I AM Profiles, please drop us an email at enquiries@i-am-autism.org.uk
